These days, especially in my city, being a go-getter is where the rewards are. Getting to the front of the line, winning the bid on the condo. In all of our efforts to control our lives with an iron fist, we have lost the ability to allow the good things to come to us naturally.
Every single woman has been given the advice to “stop looking and when you are least expecting it, you will meet someone”. I don’t necessarily think that closing down your PoF account is the thing to, because you do need to have an avenue to meet people. And I think there is a difference between planting your seeds in fertile ground and going out there every day demanding that your plants grow faster.
There needs to be a balance between Doing and Allowing. If you are job-hunting, you do need to send in your resume. But instead of following-up and spending every waking minute networking (or even worse worrying), you can start visualizing yourself in a great job that you love. You can find something pleasurable to do while you wait and allow yourself to feel good and to anticipate the great news.
A big aha moment for me was when I realized that I spend do much time engineering my happiness that I haven’t really allowed for much spontaneity. I am a classic Doer. Full of Yang energy, always running from one thing to another, I plan, I organize and I execute every moment of my life. Phew – I’m tired just typing that!
You don’t have to start with something big like a job or a partner. You can start by allowing small luxuries in. When you start the day, infuse the intention that you are going to experience something wonderful on your way to work. It’s the same feeling you would have had as a child in the days leading up to Christmas. You’ve sat on Santa’s lap and asked for what you want. And in your innocent mind, once you’ve told Santa, it’s a done deal. You expect that train set (or whatever) to be under the tree. There is no room for discussion here.
As adults, we don’t have Santa’s lap, nor do we have the innocence that allows us to believe that if we want something we should have it. We have to cultivate what has been trained out of us. We have to start expecting things.
To start getting your mindset into allowing, think about all the miracles you experience before you get out of bed. The sun rises every day. We don’t worry about it happening. Our hearts beat without fail (unless the obvious happens). Being alive and having daylight are two wonderful things. Another miracle – you are likely living in a country not at war and you have a warm duvet wrapped around you. These are things you just expect. So why not expect a good paying job, a pair of new boots, and the trip of a lifetime to India?
My favorite pagan chant is “we give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way”. Allow wonderful things to happen and they will.