I’m working through the Qabala, using a workbook gifted to me by a friend. Right now I’m on “Chesed” which embodies the energy of Loving-Kindess. Each day I have been meditating on each Sefirot in the Qabalist Tree of Life as it relates to Chesed. I’m a big believer that what we think about and focus on manifests itself in our material world. In my case, it’s been bringing more loving-kindness through me and to me.
Over the past two years, I’ve been experiencing what I believe to be the dark night of the soul. I felt very cut off from my spirituality and I couldn’t see how blessed I am because all of the love I have around me. Last year I married the love of my life and it’s taken until now to really realize the magnitude of that.
My husband Anthony has been one of my greatest teachers. He has stood beside me and loved me through every stage of growth. And it’s my love for him that has made me better every day. Letting go of a lot of anger from the past and ego-related nonsense has been because of him. I want to create the happy sanctuary for him that he’s created for me.
I am also so grateful for my family and my friends, both human and furry. Without having these wonderful people in my life, again I’d have no moral compass. I’d have no joy. Letting down some of my boundaries and opening up to the gifts they have to offer has enriched my life in ways I can’t describe.
The real test will be – can I love the people who have wronged me. Can I be truly understanding and compassionate towards them? So far, my efforts have been more in the self-righteous “look how great I am and how shitty you are” vein.
As said in my workbook: “Mature love comes with – and brings – personal dignity and intimate feelings of nobility and regalness.” This is what I strive for. And after forty years in this form, I’m sure I can accomplish it. Which is why the Universe is likely sending me tests on the roads I drive and the lineups in the grocery store. Challenge accepted Universe!
What kind of love in your life are you grateful for? Do you wake up to head butts from your feline companion? Do you work with kindred spirits? Do you share your home with a wonderful family?