Life can suck, but it doesn’t have to suck the life out of you.

pexels-photo-837267.jpegI’ve read stacks of books on being happier. I’ve developed good habits, cultivated positive self talk and wrote pages affirmations. I wouldn’t say that I’m an unhappy person.  But I’ve been sold on the idea that I can have a life of ease and comfort. That I’ll be floating on a cloud of constant bliss if I carefully follow all the steps laid out in one of my many books.

It’s didn’t do very much other than keep me occupied for a period of time. It wasn’t until I picked up a book on mindful meditation and started living in the present moment that I found out what true happiness is.

Being in the moment, whether it’s a perfect moment or one that I hope is over soon, opens the door for exploration and delight in ways I never thought possible.

When I’m feeling uncomfortable, like at the dentist for instance, I often will become curious about my resistance to being in that chair. I’ll experience that prickly sensation I get on my arms when I hear any of the equipment turn on. In my mind I’ll create a space where I look for a place of peace amidst my thoughts of “make this stop”. I”ll breathe deeply and intentionally relax my body. It transforms a situation that I want to escape into into a richer experience I want to learn more about while I lean into.

Continue reading “Life can suck, but it doesn’t have to suck the life out of you.”


I’m not more important than you.

queueHow many times have you been irritated by the person taking too long to complete a task in front of you? I find myself becoming impatient more frequently than I’d like to admit.

It’s forced me to take a sobering look at some of my core beliefs about how I see myself in relation to others. Why are my needs to do things quickly more important than the needs of others to do things at their own pace.

Some would say that people are self-centered. I feel that we are focused on our pain. We are focused on why we need things to move quickly. Why we need that seat on  the subway. When I’m not focused on my pain from a crummy day at work or some small slight in life, I’m generous, patient and giving.

The key is to pull away from the pain-body I wrote about earlier. Don’t invest the energy into your pain. The pain body feeds on your anger, irritation, anxiety about the past and the future. Think about how you feel about delays when you are at your vacation destination. Now think about how you feel about delays when you are en route to that vacation.

There is a difference because when you are on vacation you are in the present. When you’re at the airport, you’re focused on the future…the present is an inconvenience to be endured until you get to paradise.

Think about some ways to bring paradise to your present moment. And make every moment count.